Oh this puzzle

Life is a puzzle. I have been out of work with a leg injury my right knee. Well I'm lots better now. I was trying to figure out how to pay more bills on next to nothing no work no paycheck hee. How fragile this little system of living from paycheck to paycheck can really be! So there I was laying there looking at my end table by my bed there was my rubiks cube which I can do one of those in about 5 minutes. So I picked it up and started twisting the cube this way and that and this was going so slow. I thought maybe I had to much on my mind I thought again well maybe I should meditate and clear my head a bit but I didn't feel like sitting there all empty headed hee no I started this little problem and I mean to fix it and fix it now! So I just went with what I felt was right and there it was all done in 5 minutes. Just like life. I do the top edge first then the middle and then the very bottom edge. How is that like life one might ask. I know I'm nuts but there is an order to the chaos called life. First one must find shelter then food and warmth then transportation. the basic's If your lucky enough to have a job the basics Rent food utility's and transportation you have to get to work you know. Even if it means walking well for awhile there I could only hop hee I was a hoping fool. Days long gone I was homeless yes but I stuck to the basic's and that eventually manifested in many different forms to where I am now starting over just trying to figure rent out. Lucky I had disability insurance but that didn't cover all some vacation time but I owed so much when that hits the bank about half that will be gone at least I still have my job . Well this was a close one being a miser I would almost die before I crack open me lucky pot of gold me lucky charms eh haha. I know not funny. A little patience a landlord with a frowny face hee ah just for a few days I'm the one going to be paying alittle more. Oiy but I did while I was temporary unable to work come up with lots of idea's to cut corners. But folks them little basics are a must the answer's are there and if worse came to worse there are people in this world who can't walk heaven forbid who actually find ways to work and survive. Whats sad is this world produces plenty for every one on a global scale to cloth feed and provide a home home!!! But oh no we have wars and depressions the money spent on the wars alone could of sheltered clothed and fed the entire world but greed and a lack of caring for our fellow man and woman and children keeps us in the dark ages. One saying I heard (this sh...t has got to go!!!!!!) I heard that on a movie (fietgeist) Survival think basics and find away its there in many forms. I wish you all the best of luck hang in there Jamerson Rising

Sometimes its not so bad

Hello folks long time since I been in here I have been out of work for awhile I injured my right knee painful yes almost one year after I blew up my other knee which was much worse. Hey I got a break from all that overtime I was getting and worrying about that budget well I am budgeting just fine in fact like I used too. And losing weight too amazing (whisper) that's kinda why my knees blew up hee. Doing better Thank heavens I had disability insurance so I still have a job. Some times things happen for a reason when your out of work and broke you really get to know your maker up front and personal and who your real friends are! My eyes are open to all of this I found myself again calculating my future with a much better plan first spiritually then healthy then money. Money you say yes money a very important tool these days being a miser I have plenty but I am very reluctant to touch my savings. Still I live like a hermit and help others more than myself and I realize like my legs that have troubled me all my life how easy it is to lose everything over night things change that fast. So stop and take a good look at what you are doing in your life and relationships and look out for number one first because you will find sadly you will be besides the Great Spirit of us all the only one who cares at times. This is an illusion of course we are just caught up in our own little worlds selfish little brats haha but we mean well. The less you have the easier it is to find yourself. But strive to be all you can be and live good having a lot is by no means evil. Its whats in your heart that is evil or good. So I am starting to walk again and seeing the world like I used too before I got greedy and worked way to much. So this turned out for the better no more little drama king here haha My cup is now half full not empty once again folks find that silver lining in your life and go for it. Please don't boo hoo haha but find a better way we humans are masters at creating. So use your creativity and find away. Attitude my dear friends that's the secret. Good luck and never give up on yourselves. Jamerson Rising

Is it getting worse

Hello folks things seem to be getting worse don't they bills and more bills keep pilling up every time one turns around there's another bill. Budget out of control I used to take the bus to work and the light rail too then another bus I about wrecked my health with the lack of sleep I was enduring. I started using my truck more and started resting more. You know sleeping better even helps with burning more calories and that means losing more weight. Eat less spend less work more make more. Hee I'm slowly making a come back but still buried in debt but that mountain is slowly turning into a hill. Where does it end! There has to be a better solution like taxes for instance when I received my refund I should of saved it overtime should strictly go to saving's keep to the forty hours a week budget with saving's with that too. Not easy you say HA! I know trying but it can be done ( mental note) I myself am trying to achieve this and I have not succeeded with this yet. We just need to get better at cutting corners learning to relax and have special times to worry about the budget. I used to pick twice a week to go over my budget when I kept to this I worried less things seemed to flow better. Now everything seems to be happening so fast I simply have forgot to let go and not worry to take out a pen and right problems in one column and solutions in another to save what I can and stick to it. I gave up health to over save but I think perhaps riding the bus one maybe two days a week would help I work four tens so I can manage it. Gas is so expensive I need to meditate more like I used too!!! Yes this one act will really make a difference in your life for it is that quiet place in mind where you will find peace and the answers to all the little problems will seem to pop up like magic. I like hobbies like I play correspondence chess three days per turn or if they are online more moves. I find this helps me refocus and gives my brain a rest from every day problems that I need to put in their place you know a time and place for everything. Well good luck and try to rest more that is the secret not to dwell to much on one thing but to focus on your dreams. Let your mind rest and maybe it really isn't getting so out of control Jamerson Rising

Getting closer

Good morning folks Had two advents yesterday I was dreaming for I tend to sleep a few hours before noon this is from years of working graveyard shifts. I talked to a family member her ex had died one of my dreams was about dying I txted hey you still alive when I suddenly found out she was with her ex who just died. I try not to share my day visions with others anymore for time and time again they are so close to whats going on in their lives it creeps them out. I also dreamt I had both my feet removed and was running on artificial feet having trouble with my feet these last three years this concerned me then I dreamt that me and a friend were driving at night in a city bus which I have done often on the way home at night when we went off off the edge of the highway and were falling I remember saying this looks like this is it for us then I woke up. Now how could this be getting closer you say well in my twisted crazy mind years ago I remember looking out of my front window when all of a sudden I bolt of lightning hit straight accross the street from me and I was temporarily blinded by it. See I was thinking about my dream of having no feet wondering if this ment I was losing touch with mother earth for I see so many signs in my life my mind began to wonder. Many times I have asked for a sign and pow there it is I was wondering during a thunderstorm if the almighty was still close to me when suddenly a loud bang and my poor trailer shook my pc went out and the flash was incredible see lightning had hit where the old tree we had removed was because it hung right over my room and if it ever broke back then this room would be flater than a pancake. That bolt was ten feet away from me but I was in my room. I looked up and thought I was just asking that could of killed me except the wall as thin as they are here saved me. You see years agoI was wondering the same thing when things were going rough. this time the answere was alot closer and I doubt I will be asking that one again oiy That was too close becareful for what you ask for in life. Rings true and I know better we are never alone. Jamerson Rising

What is real?

This internet what is real this vast ocean of thoughts emotions and information is changing our world at an incredible pace. I will be more careful with this force in the future I reached out and got to close (once again) to an angel out there see When I get close I tend to read a personsons emotions so to speak and some get frightend that some how I know to much about them. I have been this way since I was little there was a time I could shake a persons hand and get flash backs of their past their hidden pain desires I was a recluse for a long time because of this till I learned to change the channel so to speak. I still look after my own little family and leave that vast ocean alone. For in being able to read a persons feelings I fall in love way to easy only to watch the tide pull out and find myself in that empty alone place once again. So I reconnect to mother earth and the great spirit ,jesus and that eternal love the holy ghost once again. I don't look at sin with damnation but unconditional love it is anothers wish to use their free will as fit. It is my wish to love the universe as it it is and let it be what it is. For I am just a small drop in this great ocean of universal intelligence I couldn't change you if I wanted too. That is not my intention. I can love you yes for what it's worth and then let it be. See that has been the down fall of mankind through the ages to control to hate to love with imposed unrealistic demands and expectations in return. I smile and gently float away in this vast world and simply let be. Jamerson Rising

I feel the wind changing again

I felt the wind changing when a close friend of mine moved on with her life a day later I get a phone call from way in the past a young lady whos mother was my ex's long departed sisters only daughter very sad that story this young lady had to grow up all her own all these years for when the state gets ahold of you you can't go back and at that young age a lot of time and people get lost. Lucky my son had found Me (another story on that) she ran into him and through him was able to find me why me I think because at the time I tried to step in with my little family and raise her but the state said no. She was lost for so many years I am probily the only one who is left that will help. Like an ocean tide goes out lost forever it feels like then when it comes back in a new set of faces problems or new lessons to be learned some time I feel we go over the same things over and over till we get it right like a training lesson so our souls can advance to the next level. I really miss this kid funny how some people when they get older just plain shut their doors to orphans even to family members being so afraid to lose what they have. Now she has lost her kids and is so alone in this world and so lost it seems. I will do what I can it is so hard to pick up the empty pieces and go on in life. Doors shutting left and right no where to go living from one friend to the next that is no way to live. So Painful so lonely what has this world become. I belive I was in this place at the right time to watch over my little ones I walked out the door all the kids that live around here call me grandpa they get this from my grandkids anyway I head out the door on my way to work and the little neighbors grand kid who was visiting her grandma ask me if I could be her grampa too he died last year so very sad. I guess when one gets to be one that is something special to little kids children they have a magik all their own I winked at her and said you got it kiddo. Man my family has grown so much. So when I get this call I was happy to have found another lost one. I finaly replaced the old chevy truck with a dodge and it is way over due to go search for my father who I lost contact with ten years ago he has so many little faces he hasn't seen I remembered he used to love these little people as he would call them. So when this little angel asked me this I remembered I have some business of my own to take care of my father is 88 years old though some in my family have lived to 100. I need to get going on this soon. as for my niece we will see what we can do for her. So many families just shut their doors and look the other way that's sad well not this old indian they are all part of me that we carry to the very end. I wish you all well Jamerson Rising

The shadow of the past

Hello folks its the middle of the night today I was looking at some old records in the 1940th censes at ancestry.com one of my many hobbies Their staring up at me was my grandfathers name my grandmother my mom and her older brother. I have been working on this family tree for three or four years now. So many people have come and gone.There has been a few times from out of the blue that one of my distant relations will e-mail me thanking me for caring when so many just let the past go. I had an aunt my moms youngest sister had twins well all grown up since they live in Texas now they didin't know very much about their mom's family. They hired a professional who found me what a gold mine. I have found the towns many have grown up in the names of even the neighbors that lived next door. I have the gift of remote vision past and future I can picture bits and pieces of their lives like shadows that come to visit. I see things in my grandkids that trigger such memories. Like a good spirit watching over me giving me a memory of a past event. Some times when you remember something out of the clear blue its a spirit sitting next to you sharing one of theirs. Their is so much to this world we have forgotten we will live forever so make your world heaven not a hell only two choices my dear friends please think about this when making any decisions in your life. We shall all account for everything some day. Have a beautiful day. Jamerson Rising