Saturday, May 12, 2012

What is real?

This internet what is real this vast ocean of thoughts emotions and information is changing our world at an incredible pace. I will be more careful with this force in the future I reached out and got to close (once again) to an angel out there see When I get close I tend to read a personsons emotions so to speak and some get frightend that some how I know to much about them. I have been this way since I was little there was a time I could shake a persons hand and get flash backs of their past their hidden pain desires I was a recluse for a long time because of this till I learned to change the channel so to speak. I still look after my own little family and leave that vast ocean alone. For in being able to read a persons feelings I fall in love way to easy only to watch the tide pull out and find myself in that empty alone place once again. So I reconnect to mother earth and the great spirit ,jesus and that eternal love the holy ghost once again. I don't look at sin with damnation but unconditional love it is anothers wish to use their free will as fit. It is my wish to love the universe as it it is and let it be what it is. For I am just a small drop in this great ocean of universal intelligence I couldn't change you if I wanted too. That is not my intention. I can love you yes for what it's worth and then let it be. See that has been the down fall of mankind through the ages to control to hate to love with imposed unrealistic demands and expectations in return. I smile and gently float away in this vast world and simply let be. Jamerson Rising

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I feel the wind changing again

I felt the wind changing when a close friend of mine moved on with her life a day later I get a phone call from way in the past a young lady whos mother was my ex's long departed sisters only daughter very sad that story this young lady had to grow up all her own all these years for when the state gets ahold of you you can't go back and at that young age a lot of time and people get lost. Lucky my son had found Me (another story on that) she ran into him and through him was able to find me why me I think because at the time I tried to step in with my little family and raise her but the state said no. She was lost for so many years I am probily the only one who is left that will help. Like an ocean tide goes out lost forever it feels like then when it comes back in a new set of faces problems or new lessons to be learned some time I feel we go over the same things over and over till we get it right like a training lesson so our souls can advance to the next level. I really miss this kid funny how some people when they get older just plain shut their doors to orphans even to family members being so afraid to lose what they have. Now she has lost her kids and is so alone in this world and so lost it seems. I will do what I can it is so hard to pick up the empty pieces and go on in life. Doors shutting left and right no where to go living from one friend to the next that is no way to live. So Painful so lonely what has this world become. I belive I was in this place at the right time to watch over my little ones I walked out the door all the kids that live around here call me grandpa they get this from my grandkids anyway I head out the door on my way to work and the little neighbors grand kid who was visiting her grandma ask me if I could be her grampa too he died last year so very sad. I guess when one gets to be one that is something special to little kids children they have a magik all their own I winked at her and said you got it kiddo. Man my family has grown so much. So when I get this call I was happy to have found another lost one. I finaly replaced the old chevy truck with a dodge and it is way over due to go search for my father who I lost contact with ten years ago he has so many little faces he hasn't seen I remembered he used to love these little people as he would call them. So when this little angel asked me this I remembered I have some business of my own to take care of my father is 88 years old though some in my family have lived to 100. I need to get going on this soon. as for my niece we will see what we can do for her. So many families just shut their doors and look the other way that's sad well not this old indian they are all part of me that we carry to the very end. I wish you all well Jamerson Rising